Response to Proverbs 25:4

Proverbs 25:4 "Take away the dross from silver, and it will go to the silversmith for jewelry."

Day by day You are removing the dross from me
Refining me, burning me, making me pure
As I walk through the fire, You are the One leading me
You are perfect and You have a plan for my life
You have jewlery that You are planning to make out of me
I don't want to resist all that You have for me
Flawless, that is what You are
Without blemish
Looking at you I can barely stand myself
I cannot look at myself for Your beauty is captivating
My heart, soul and mind are enraptured
I want to be wrapped up in Your love
In Your whole Being, Your whole Presence
As I look at You, bit by bit You remove the dross from me
So much like You I want to become
A strange phenomenon:
The more I look at You, the more I am transformed
One day I will be ready
And I can be presented to You as a beautiful piece of jewelry

Beauty from Ashes

Beauty from ashes
said often, but what does it mean?
Our fire has faded and burnt out
white and gray pieces of dust

He stirs us up
An unpleasant smoke appears
The scent of it stings the nose
but then, peering closer there is red

A crimson color covered by dust
A faint ember seen only by the Savior
He moves in us, breaking off the charcoal shell
Releasing more smoke, more pain

But even in the unpleasantness
He is working, moving
Snaps sound, tiny flames begin to form
He is the master Firemaker and maintainer

He breathes life over us
We ignite, bursting into bright lights
Licking the air He's given us
trying to get as much of Him as possible

We can only partially survive without Him
But it is meager, only minimal
We thrive only when we give Him control
He is our source. We must let Him kindle us.

Letting Go

My heart is breaking
as I turn and walk away from him
How I want to run back
and tell him I didn't mean it

My soul cries out "Don't leave!"
and I don't want to...
I swear I don't
But what choice do I have?

If my ultimate desire is to please God
I cannot look back
I need to keep moving forward
sprinting forward toward Christ

We both taught and challenged another
God used that time, but I need to move on
It's said that some leave footprints in our lives
now footprints are all that remain

I will not be able to see all He's planning
So why strain myself in trying to do so?
He's promised that all things work together for good
and He does not lie, nor will He ever.

I hope one day he will turn back
back to his first Love
The One who says that nothing
absolutely nothing can take us from His Father's grasp

Until then I will leave him
and entrust him to my Father
He who loves him even more than I...
In Him will I put my confidence

There is nothing I can do
If the power of human love
could change things
it already would have

Keep him safe please Father
It's all that I ask
I'm letting to of him, help me
Might I always remember he's in your hands

(completed tonight)

Come to Me

My heart cries out for you
The life I had planned perfectly
How things change

What you would do for me
and what I would do for you
Complete perfection in our fellowship

You would have been able to see the joy
on your father's face the first time
you opened your mouth and called him "Daddy"

The first time your training wheels came off
when you fell off your bike
I would have been there to collect your tears

I promise you I would have been there
for your awkward time in middle school
braces, bad hair days, trying so hard to be cool

When you struggle with knowing my plans for you
I would have been there
yet you haven't cried out to me

And what about your wedding day
He's anxiously waiting for you at the altar
but you haven't showed up. You won't.

I'm sorry my beautiful girl
No one was there to support your mommy
She couldn't do it on her own

I want you to know she wanted you
She really loved you
but there was no one there

They told her she'd be alone if she kept you
There was condemnation
I'm sorry but she didn't know me then

You didn't get your chance to live
But know that I am still good
I wanted you to live, please know that

Yet now you are home with Me
and I am working everything to My glory
Even though then you did not live, your mommy now does

Her heart was broken, she was wounded,
I am the healer of the brokenhearted
I am binding up her wounds

My little girl, my precious daughter,
your mommy now knows Me
Rejoice with Me, one day you'll meet her!

She still aches for you,
but she trusts that you are in My arms
Do you see a little bit how I work?

I hate that My precious little ones are being terminated
but look at the beauty arising from ashes
This is who I am, this is what I do

I will not remove My love from them
Though they fall, I will pick them up
I am the God of forgiveness, the God of grace

I do not cast away any who come near Me
My own Son has paid the price for their error
If they would just turn to Me

I want to satisfy, fill, and heal them
To free them from the bondage of sin by the power of My Spirit
If they would just come to Me.

Come to Me.

In response to divisions in the church...

It's quite obvious throughout scripture that Jesus Christ is the only way to the Father (John 14:6). I agree with you that the creation of denominations has divided the body of Christ. Even David had stated "Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!...for there the LORD commanded the blessing-life forevermore" (Psalm 133:1,3). How can our faith in Jesus Christ possibly ever be divisive? He Himself said that a house divided against itself cannot stand. Maybe this is the reason for the dying of the evangelical church in America today. We're so caught up in the add-ons of faith, that I am sure if Jesus were to step down from heaven back onto earth He would have a talk with the leaders of the churches. Now I'm not saying at all that what they are teaching is not good, but what is needed?The name escapes me, but there was a preacher in the United Kingdom several decades (and possibly centuries, forgive me I'm not sure), who, every Sunday would preach the gospel message. Every Sunday. There was a woman who came up to him and asked him when he was going to move on to other things. He replied saying something to the effect that once everyone understood it, then he would move on. He never did. Why? Because he, like Paul, chose to know nothing but Jesus Christ and Him crucified.Complete belief, from the heart, mind, and soul that God sent His precious Son Jesus Christ (who is also God) to the world to stand in our place for judgment against our sins and pay the penalty on the cross, and that He died, was buried, and rose again in victory, signaling God's acceptance of that payment is the one and only way to Heaven. There is nothing that needs to be added like you said. Baptism is an outward symbol of that faith, or trust and belief in Him, but it is NOT required for salvation. Communion is a good way to remind ourselves of the payment of Christ's body and blood for us, but it also is no way that we can be saved. In fact we are commanded to not take part of it if there is any unforgiveness or issues still within our heart at the time.So yes, when we accept Christ as the Lord of our life, which means that He is now the one we live for, we have put off the old man and put on Christ, and "for me to live is Christ..." (Philippians 1:21), we are completely forgiven. We may still fall and screw up. Why? Because we are still human! So when churches look at each other and say "Oh well they have such and such wrong" they need to take that plank out of their eyes and realize that sure, they may be wrong, but what is their purpose for judging? Is it to edify the body of Christ? I hate to say it, but I highly doubt it. It's somewhat a source of pride to say that we are a bit more correct than another church.I like to think of it this way...church wise and for ourselves. The Holy Spirit, whom we receive as a seal of our salvation the moment we receive Christ as our Savior, works on us one piece at a time. It's like the refining process of gold. Each time it is put through the fire, a few more impurities arise and can be skimmed off, and more and more come out as the temperature rises. In the same way as God puts us through a refining process, He works on us one issue at a time, because He knows we wouldn't be able to go through it all right away. So in my case, let's say He worked on my ability to forgive my parents for mistakes they had made, and allowed me to see them in a different light. Once we worked on that (and it comes up every once in a while again) then He's moved me on to truly surrendering my life and my plans and my future to Him. It's no longer a list that I've created where I ask Him to sign the line for my plans, it's a blank sheet of paper that He hands to me and asks me to sign it. I need to sign it and know that whatever He puts on that paper after I sign it will be to His glory, and what greater joy can I have but to be able to bring my Savior and my God glory? Proverbs 16:9 says “A man’s heart plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps.”How willing are we to surrender the control to the One who knows exactly what is going to happen and knows us better than we even know ourselves?So back to my point, and it is that God works on different areas of a church at different times. So what if a church has something in its doctrine a bit different than the one someone else is a part of? As long as they do not distort the truth of the gospel and that being the only way to salvation, then they are forgiven. If they start preaching that new believers need to add on this and that, then I would like to say “Have you read Galatians?” If you don’t understand it after that, then why is it that you believe what you believe? Can you truly say that Christ coming down to earth and dying was not enough? We need to stop focusing on all the add-ons, and center our eyes on the doctrine of Jesus Christ, of true salvation. I do not identify myself with any particular denomination, because I feel that there is no need. I agree with you Angelina, my life is no longer my own, but I am living it for Christ Jesus. So after I have written an extremely long post I would like to close with this passage from Ephesians 4. (my emphasis added)“I…beseech you to walk worth of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is ONE body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all. …And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the UNITY of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God to a perfect man, to measure the stature of the fullness of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with EVERY wind of doctrine, by the TRICKERY of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but speaking the TRUTH in LOVE, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head-CHRIST.”

All I needed was Your love

So I warned you it would not be everyday that I would write, but I have a little bit of time tonight before I read some more. This week has pretty much flown by. Classes seem so simple, yet there is so much preparation that needs to be done, and to be honest I have no idea how I end up getting it all done. Recently I've been annoyed with myself because I sleep in until 8 or 8:30, regardless of my alarm which goes off 6 times from 7 until 7:25. What is wrong with me? Well I know it doesn't help that I don't go to sleep until midnight or later, but hopefully tonight I won't be up too late. Last night I led our girls' small group on Galatians 2:15-21. I was awkward at first but near the end I just had to close my laptop and let the Spirit speak through me instead of relying on what I had written up all before.
My parents right now are in Fredericksburg, and I really wish I was there so I could see my best friend, but "I have learned to be content in all circumstances". They're heading down to Hilton Head Island, which I miss a lot. Last time I was there was 2006 with Abbie and we had gone on a bike ride and had so much fun. But enough for reminiscing, at least for now.
I think I've decided what I want to do here on this blog. I am going to go through Ephesians. Yes, it will take me a long time, but my goal is by the end of either next semester or this year (depending on my timeline for classes) to have memorized the entire book. Currently I have the first chapter finished, but I have not gone over it in a while so I may have forgotten some of it. Therefore, I am going to start at the very beginning. I'm going to actually do two verses today, so that I will have the same verse as date, at least until the 23rd of this month, meaning I will need to blog everyday, so that is my incentive.
Ephesians 1:1-2"Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, to the saints who are in Ephesus, and faithful in Christ Jesus: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ."
This of course is a letter to the church in Ephesus, written by Paul. He establishes his authority of being an apostle of Jesus Christ, and not by his own will, but by that of God the Father. The greek word for apostle literally means "one sent", and Paul no doubt was sent by Jesus Christ when He appeared to Paul on his journey to Damascus, transforming his life completely. The saints in Ephesus were those who had heard the gospel and were faithful in the Lord. Their lives reflected the salvation they had received in Christ, which we will be able to see later in the book. Something I find so fascinating is that the people in Ephesus were Gentiles, or non-Jews, those of the "sinners". That's who I am. I am a Gentile since I am not born (to my knowledge) of Jewish descent. I cannot cease to praise the Lord for sending Paul to the Gentiles to preach the good news. Beforehand we were in trouble, because it was the Jews who were the chosen people, but in Paul's letter to the Galatians he states in 2:7 "But on the contrary when they saw that the gospel for the uncircumcised had been committed to me, as the gospel for the circumcised was to Peter" (uncircumcised=Gentile, circumcised=Jew). I'll get to that at some point eventually, but He truly does work all things together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose. Do we realize that God the Father daily gives us grace, that divine adequacy that we by no means could ever deserve, and therefore we can have that peace, or consciousness of that grace. Do I realize how much it cost Him? No. To be honest, I don't think I will ever fully comprehend the extent of His grace, probably because I don't always realize how bad off I and everyone else really are. I cannot help but embrace the grace that He has given, and rest in assurance knowing that He is enough, He is sufficient, He is all that is worth living for.
My heart so often is not in the right place, so I am hoping that really going through this book will set my focus on Christ daily. I need Him more than I can fathom. And like the footprints poem, in my hardest times, I may not even realize that He is actually the One carrying me. My true Love, the One who will never ever fail me. He will never break my heart, He will never say anything to destroy me; yes, He will bring to surface impurities and dirt, but it's because He loves me and wants me to become more like Him. He will send me through the fire, but He will never leave me nor forsake me. I have been hurt by others, but the way I have reacted, the way I am now is because of Him working in me and molding me into the woman that He wants to be. I need to daily die to myself that He might live through me. He has a plan for me, just like He had for Paul. What that is, I do not know, and if He told me I doubt that I would want to go through with it. So for now, I will just be faithful, as the saints in Ephesus were faithful. He'll let me know what I need to know, precisely when I need to know it. There is no need to rush through or try to manipulate situations for my sake.
So as I am writing this, I had an idea...just to post prayer requests to remind me to pray for things in my life, and also remember when I started praying for things to see how God moves, and how He will! If you have time do pray for me, you will always know what I am in need of prayer for, and as each is answered, I will move it into praises.
Praises:He has drawn me close to HimHis death and resurrection was more than enoughProvision of finances for this year at schoolContinued health
Prayer Requests:My parents need to sell their property in VirginiaMy sister's decision about collegeReligion paper and Culture of Spain presentation for next weekWisdom in time managementAbility to wake up with the Lord earlier than it has beenMy future husband, wherever he is, that he would be seeking the Lord with his whole heartDecision in whether or not to commit to sponsoring a child overseasDecision about what to do once I graduate
Perpetual:I would look more like Him dailyI would be a witness for HimI would use the talents that He's given me

My Purpose

Why am I blogging? I have to say it is so that I can share mi vida cotidiana (my daily life) as well as what the Lord Jesus has been doing in my life. Already it is late tonight and I need to go to sleep, but I knew if I didn't set this up I might never.
I feel like I am growing up so fast. To think that my birthday is less than three months away, and by that time I will only have one year left of college. It has been tough, especially these past couple of weeks. My relationship with Jesus had suffered because it became more of something else I did, instead of truly being and resting within Him. I'm learning to wholly surrender my entire self to Him, because it's all I can do. The song comes to mind, "strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord..." based on Isaiah 40:31 "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary and they shall walk and not faint." I have learned more and more what it is like to wait on Him, rather than taking life into my own hands. It is no longer my life, but His. "For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain" Philippians 1:21. It's all His, I am to die to myself daily, because my heart in and of itself, apart from Christ is evil, but praise Him for taking me, saving me, and daily sanctifying me and making me more like Him.
Tonight I worked for about five hours at the restaurant, and it's been tough. I had good tables, but financially I think people must be tight because they tend not to tip well. Praise Jesus that I know He will provide me with exactly what I need, but sometimes it is disappointing when you work so hard and aren't rewarded, yet still I know that my goal is not to please men but to please my heavenly Father. I have an exam tomorrow in Spanish intensive grammar. I suppose I forgot to mention if you didn't get the hint before: I'm a spanish major. I don't know what I'm going to do with it, that's up to Jesus. I'm just being faithful with what He's told me to do. I was originally set on being a Chiropractor and was a biology major, but someone asked me "Are you sure that that is what God wants you to do?" A question that every person should consider before making any decisions. I definitely do not recommend switching or changing right away until you have really laid it before the Lord and prayed about it and He has somehow opened or closed the doors to get you to where He wants you to be. So now I am waiting on what He wants me to do. I believe it will be somewhere in the ministry, whether as a missionary or a minister's wife or in the women's ministry or hispanic ministry. I really have no idea whatsoever, it's all up to Him, and I just want His plan for my life. I'm tired of manipulating situations because I have to say I am so glad that He truly is the boss because otherwise I would mess up really bad. But I need to go to sleep. Somewhat brief yet not description of some of who I am, but you'll get to know me more and more. I doubt I'll write every night just because of all there is to do, but I will try at least several times a week. Keep looking up to the Lord. Sometimes He calls us to be still, as He has for me.